The Journal of a Lazarus

14 Apr 03

The seeker

My primary beingness might be described as “seeker”.  I wish to travel, to pursue my beingness/hat as a musician, a writer. Pursue my spiritual explorations, especially through learning to audit in Scientology, and auditing others, I believe I will gain wisdom and balance in understanding in context of how people view them selves, rather than the image they have learned to project. 

Filthy Lucre

The primary barrier to these pursuits, appears to be time, and it’s concomitant inverse, money. The apparency is I do not have enough time because I must willy-nilly spend an vast percentage of my time in the chasing of the almighty buck. If only I were to have a ready source of income, I could devote ALL of my time to pursuits that are meaningful. Oh, why didst thou, self, posit that we must wrestle with lucre? Debase self with the quest for the filthy lucre?

 Perhaps, rather than place all of my attention on becoming free for the tyranny of the lucre, I would put my attention on my quest. Perhaps should I so do, lucre would resolve itself. Rather than invest vast energies in figuring out how to make pile of money, how to pay the bills, how to get ahead, or build up whatever it takes to retire so as to go free and once retires, have the time and resources to devote to my quest…Perhaps I should devote only enough attention to money as to remain on the rails and place the lion’s share of attention on the aspects of my quest.

The Aspects of my Quest

Learning to audit in Scientology

Doing the remainder of the “Bridge” in Scientology

Journey to the different places in the world I am urged to experience

Read the writings of those whom have written things I find pleasure and meaning therein.

Write – I need to express my creativity in the form of writing

Music – I need to play guitar and express my creativity through performance in music. 

Policy: Re: Lucre

One must work sufficiently to pay their bills, maintain solvency, and to secure the monetary aspects of their paths. One must, however, remain alert to opportunities to more harmoniously pull in the resources needed, rather than use  “effort” to "force" an achievement. 

Effort & Barriers

The reason for this is the reason one is having difficulty achieving a goal is because he is creating the difficulty. Applying effort to resolve such a creation results in automatic counter-creation. You are fighting only yourself. This will often manifest itself in increasing complexity of a path and thus becoming mired in smaller and smaller details, thus effectively derailing progress..

Policy: The route from here to there.

There are goals. And there are the postulates (decisions and attitudes) and mechanics (steps and actions) that one follows in order to attain them. The Route. Path. In mapping out a route to get somewhere, start from where you Are. Do not pick as a starting point someplace you are not. In order to map out any journey, one first must know where he wants to go, and where one is and only then can begin to work out a workable route from here to there.

A Possible Route

Build up the website so it will interactively answer all the questions a prospect might have, quote him a price and accept an order and payment, produce a work order designed to deliver the products. Focus on products and publics that will connect using this system Laurie can handle the administration of the system, and I would audit Laurie. Or we can hire and post, she might prefer graphic design. This then could allow me to go off and devote the lion’s share of my time to auditor training and auditing others, and plenty of time into music and performance.